I'm Loving Life! =)

Life is good to me.

Though I may not have gotten what I wanted so badly initially, I'm more than thankful of my current situation.

During my times of need, family and friends were there with me. They were genuinely concerned about my well-being, and I truly appreciate it. They even know me better than I know myself. Even though I thought I was okay (and I told them so whenever they asked), they knew that I was actually struggling to come to terms with the harsh reality. They comforted me, encouraged me, supported me, and brought me much joy and laughter in those times of depression. Without them, I wouldn't have come out of my depression. Without them, I would probably still be a zombie, walking around each day, yet not knowing what is wrong with myself. With their help, I've managed to accept this fact. I've finally let it all go... And it's all thanks to them. My family. My friends. Thank you all so much!! =)

This university I'm currently studying in is not my first choice university. I wanted to run away from here badly. I wanted to go somewhere which I believed was better. But now, after 4 months together with my course mates, I begin to wonder. If I were to be given a choice to stay or to leave, would I stay or would I leave? 1 thing for sure, I would definitely miss them. My classmates, and also my lecturers.

In class, we manage to get along well with each other, even though we practically do not know each other. Sometimes, there will be conflict among us, but, hey, who doesn't? We talk, we laugh, we gossip. We're one big happy family. hahah...

A brief run-down of the activities we've had so far (and of course only those that I have attended).
(1) If I remember correctly, the first ever class activity I attended was dinner at Dylan's place. Some 20++ of us cramped into his unit (while his housemates were away), and had curry noodles for dinner. But dinner is not the end of it. We were to reluctant to leave I guess, and so had a game of Truth-and-Dare. Not really fun as in exciting or thrilling (I guess we still didn't know each other well enough to know what questions to ask :p), but I enjoyed it. You wouldn't believe some of the stupid questions that people could come up with, and the answers people give - direct and way too truthful. xD

(2) The second one was a trip to Nadia's house in Bentong, for her Hari Raya Open House. My parents were shocked to know that I wanted to go all the way to Pahang just for lemang and rendang. But then, we should always try something we've never done before right? =DD

(3) Then it was BBQ at Boe's place. The place he lives in...... is a mansion, with a swimming pool too. Another house will be built on the remaining land his dad bought, just beside his house, for his younger brother, and they shall share the swimming pool. His house is one that has all the names of the family members on the gate. And it's written in front of his house : Rumah Boez. How cool is that? His dad actually designed the house himself, using some designs from a palace. And his house is actually bigger than the original palace where the design came from. Walking into his house is just like walking into a museum. Antiques everywhere, with even an antique phone!! He even has cat houses which are bigger than the rooms we're currently staying in. Some of us (including me) even volunteered to work at his house. 1 will be the gardener, another the plate-washer, another the sweeper, another the swimming pool cleaner, and another the door man. Hahaha... Just so that we can stay at his house. And his place is so organised. His family photo albums goes into one cupboard, videos from olden times into another, and he has so much books at home that we think he may have a better collection of medical books than our university itself. =D

(4) Ah... after crashing Dylan's and Boe's, we just had to find another 'victim'. Jasmaine. My last trip to Melaka was ages ago, in primary school. So I was extremely happy when the trip to Melaka was suggested. Of course, the fact that the main purpose of the trip was nothing but EAT, EAT and EAT just added to my eagerness. I couldn't wait for the day of the trip. Yet, when that day came, I almost never went. But in the end, I did. And I did not regret a single moment of it. =) The trip was all about light bulbs (poor lil' Deepak-thanks to me, he got to be a big blinking light bulb, yet he wasn't aware of it), Jonker walk (sadly I didn't finish the entire length of it. And the laksa was totally horrible. Yucks!), satay celup (hmmmm..it didn't really taste that good to me, but then, Boe said that I chose the wrong things to celup =D), Jasmaine's mom's birthday (Oh, her mom is like totally COOL~ even told us which clubs to go to if we wanted to go clubbing. Haha..), releasing our Kong Ming Deng (3 of them-academic, love and general), walking around the I-dunno-what-walk (with Boe acting as our chaperone-I feel. He's like a big brother to us, constantly looking out for our safety), and then back to our rented place for mahjong (during which I was questioned as to whether I'm even Chinese because I coudn't play mahjong), cards, and lantern walk at 5am!!! The dogs in the neighbourhood were barking like crazy when we passed by, and I think people who walked by our house in the morning must think that we're luncatics. But then again, I think we are. =P



Only 4 months into the programme, and we're having so much fun. I'm anticipating yet more to come! Now, who was it that said medical students are boring and don't know how to have fun??



What else can I say?



I'm Loving Life!

Letting Go

It began with a dream.

A dream that I had a very very long time ago.

That dream was dashed. Crushed. Not once. Not twice. But a few times.

But no matter what, I still had the hope of fulfilling my dream.


And when it became evident that the dream would always remain a dream, I went sliding down into the dumps of depression.

Family and friends pulled me out of it.

They filled my life with such joy and laughter that I forget about the tears.
They reminded me to be grateful of what I still have instead of mourning over what I have lost.
They told me of endless new opportunities that I have yet to explore instead of fussing over an opportunity that never quite went through.


Their wisdom, their care~
Through their words, and their actions~
Managed to cure me.

And now, I can truly say that I have let go.


Why hang on to it,
When I have something better in store for me? =)

Thankful =)

I'm blessed.

All my life, I get what I want most of the time.

I have great friends.
I have an even greater family.
So many people are there for me when I need support and encouragement.

I am lucky that I can do what I like.
I am lucky that most things in my life has been smooth sailing.
I am lucky that I have the chance to make choices, when so many others can't.

I enjoy good health, joy and happiness in my life.
I am surrounded by people who love me, and whom I love.
These may be simple stuff.
But it is the stuff that matters most in life, and should not be taken for granted.

For that I have, I am thankful.
Thank you, God.

Achievement

The measure of achievement is not winning awards.
It's doing something that you appreciate, something you believe is worthwhile.


Quoted from RD Asia =)

Not Up to Par?

We're just into the second month of the program.

Just because we're not as you expected, does this mean we are of no value to you?
If so, then why did you accept us into this program in the first place?

Just because you have your own assumptions and opinions about us, must you discriminate us based on that?
And how can you be sure that we are exactly as you think we are?

Just because YOU think that we are relaxed, does that mean we are not committed to the program?
Does relaxed equals lazy in your dictionary?

You think so lowly of us.
You discriminate against us before even getting to know us.
You think nothing of us.

And yet you call yourselves medical doctors?
You call yourselves academic staff?

Is this the appropriate behaviour for academicians?

I've always thought that teachers and lecturers are there for their students.
I've always thought that they would be encouraging students to aim for the stars.
I've always thought that they would bring out the potential in students.

But maybe I was wrong.

Friends are for...

We have friends.
Perhaps we have many friends.
But perhaps not.

We joke around.
We go out together.
We have fun together.
We see each other frequently.

But have you ever wondered who your true friends are?

Who are those friends that would accept you as you are?
Who are those friends that would not make you do things you do not want?
Who are those friends that want the best for you?
Who are those friends that would respect you - your choices, your decisions - no matter what?
Who are those friends that are really there for you?

Sometimes, we may meet people who we may think of as a friend.
But are they really friends?

Friends are there to help you pass your time.
Friends are there to be made use of.
Friends are there to be made fun of.
Friends are there to provide entertainment.
Friends are there to be used when needed; dumped when not.

Who are our friends?
The very selected few that we are comfortable being around.
The very selected few that we are comfortable sharing things with.

What are friends for?
To be treasured and cherished, of course! =)

3rd Week

Stepping into the 3rd week of the medical program, I am seriously doubting my abilities.

It's only the 3rd week, and so I have not even switched into the Study Mode (if I even have one).

But this is exactly what is giving me stress.

I have a journal to write. I've already decided that I would be writing it in a book. And that I would write weird things to complement my weird lecturer.

I have a ton of books that I'm supposed to stuff into my little brain.

I have another ton of lecture notes I need to read through as I did not even care to listen during lectures.

I have weird lecturers who teach weird stuff.

I have PBLs to attend.

I have SDLs where I'm supposed to self-study. But I use the time to sleep instead. If that's not what I'm doing, I'd probably be wasting my time away anyway.

And best of all, I'm having a modular assessment just another 2 weeks away.

Can I survive 5 years of this??

Stupid Questions

Once upon a time, there was a class of medical students. And then there was this particular lecturer.

When the lecturer first came into this class, none of the students thought much about it. He may be just another lecturer for all they cared. However, as they had more lessons with him, they began developing different impressions about him.

He was an okay person in general. But the way he gives lectures is weird to say the least. But he shall not be judged on that aspect. Everyone has their own style after all.

He loved joking. But his jokes were not funny at all. Most of the time, he would be the only one laughing happily to his own joke while the rest of the class remained silent.

He taught the class about a disease resulting from a particular deficiency. Someone asked a question. That Someone asked, 'How is this different from another disease giving a similar outward appearance?' The lecturer posed this question to the class and another person answered that it was due to another type of deficiency.

'That's right,' the lecturer said, and continued to lecture to the class that as medical students, they must have basic knowledge. If not, and if he needed to go through everything they were taught before, he would never finish his lecture on time. (By the way, he finishes his lectures in half the time they were allocated for.)

He then proceeded to tell those students not to ask silly questions. Silly questions are a waste of everyone's time. And that question was a silly question.

Actually, That Someone must have meant something like, since 2 different types of vitamin deficiency gives the same outward appearance, how can a doctor differentiate between these? How can a doctor know if the patient has a deficiency of this vitamin or that vitamin?

Is this a silly question? Are first year, first semester medical students supposed to have this knowledge?

The lecturer said that it was a silly question.

But the questions he asked were weirder.

Who knows what is a doctor?
Who knows what is man?
Who knows what is human being?
Who is more than 10 years old?
Who knows what is bovine?
Who knows what is beef?
Who knows what is cow?
Beef is from bovine, so do you know what is bovine now?
We get beef from cow, so do you know what is bovine now?
Human beings came from the sea. Who believes this?
If we eat chicken, will we become chicken too?

Not only that, his theories were weird too. Or rather the way he phrased them were weird.

Human beings are amphibians. We breathed water in amniotic fluid. Then only we breathed air.
At first, there were no humans. Only monkeys on the earth. Aliens came and bred with monkeys. So humans are hybrids of monkeys and aliens.
This is a cow. It has 4 legs and 1 head. And 1 tail.
Superman does not need to eat. He comes from Krypton. He uses sunlight as his source of energy. Kryptonites give him energy too. So he does not need to eat.

He also told the class that he and all medical staff were there to train them to become doctors.
Doctors cannot rely on others. Doctors must rely on themselves. So you must rely on yourself, not your friends or lecturers.
Your lecturers will not spoon feed you. You were used to being spoon fed. You must now learn to rely on yourself.
The lectures only serve as a guideline. You have a learning outline. Go and look at it and study yourself. Understand?
Lectures are to stimulate you to think. I give you lecture. I stimulate you to think. So you go back and find out more about what you want to know.
If you don't understand, then ask your friends. If all don't understand, then only find medical staff. We will help you. We are here to train you to become doctors.
We are going to give you a license to save others. We are going to give you the highest degree. We are going to train you to be doctors.
Don't ask silly questions.
Don't ask stupid questions.
If you ask stupid questions, you will become stupid. If you are stupid, you will have a stupid life.

And so, such was the fate of the class of medical students...
And no one knew just what would happen in the future......

May all be well. So mote it be.




THE END

Happy Meal

I finally had my first ever Happy Meal! =)

And it was all because I wanted to get a toy. A Sugar Bunny.


I have absolutely no idea what drove me to get a Happy Meal. I have never been interested in these things before. And I have always wondered why so many people - old and young alike - love Happy Meals.

But now I know.

After that meal, I was deliriously happy for the whole night. I kept looking at the 2 sugar bunnies I got and kept laughing like a lunatic. (My 2 friends who accompanied me and had a Happy Meal each could testify to that.)

Could it be that I do not want to grow up?
Could it be that I want to rewind time and return to my childhood? To a time when I was free to explore the fascinating world around me. Free from worries. Joyous. Protected. Sheltered. And most of all, fun!

Now that I think of it, I really miss the time when I could live each day without a care in the world.
No one to tell me what I should be doing.
No one to order me about.
No one to give me stress.
No one who would have high expectations of me.
No one to give me problems.
No one to make my life difficult.

Ah... How I wish I could go back to that time.

A time when only happiness, joy and love dominates. =)

Who Are You?

We made friends with each other. We say 'hi' when we meet. You ask me questions when you are doubtful about something, and I do the same. We ask each other for help. We get along fine. And I call you a friend.
But are you?

You are smart. You are intelligent. You always do well in exams.
You are a scholar.
But that's all you are.
Who are you to question me about why I didn't do well in my exams? That's my problem, not yours.
Who are you to mock me when I said I couldn't sleep after the exam? I was the one having nightmares, not you.
Who are you to imply that I should have done well in my exams? You are the one who felt the paper was easy, not me.
Who are you to imply that I am not as good as you just because I felt that I didn't do well? There's no harm in keeping it to yourself if you feel that way.
Who are you to look down on me just because of your misguided views? As far as I know, all forms of Pre-U are of the same standard.

You may have great taste in clothes. You know how to dress on different occasions. You have your opinion on what should be worn to different places.
Of course, you have a right to express your opinions.
But not at the expense of others.
Who are you to say that I should not wear this for this class? I have my own opinion on what I should or should not wear.
Who are you to imply that my dress style is weird when I didn't even ask for your opinion? It's a free world, and I can wear whatever I feel like.

We were classmates.
And right till the end, I childishly believed that classmates usually helped one another.
But now I know better.
The teacher asked you to pass the message to the whole class. But did you? You only informed your closest friends.
You had some materials with you, and I asked to borrow them. You acted as if they are top secret materials and asked me not to let anyone see it. Is this the way classmates behave?
You said we could borrow some materials from you, but that you have promised someone else first. We foolishly waited, thinking that you would pass it to us when you got it back. But did you? We had to ask it from you for so many times, and you gave us the impression that you were reluctant to share it with us.
You had some materials which would have been useful to all of us. You shared the materials. But with who? Only friends of the same academic status as you. And we, who were looked down upon, were kept in the dark till the end.

We were friends. And I didn't think otherwise.
But now I may have to rethink.
You seem to be friends only when you have something to gain from me.
When I am unable to help you, you cease to be my friend.
Who are you to demand that I do things for you when you don't even talk to me otherwise?
Who are you to act all snobbish with me when you feel that my results are not as good as yours?
Who are you to dispose of me when you are done using me?

We were classmates.
We were friends.
That's what I've thought of you all along.
But do you really see me as your classmate, your friend?

Finally

Hello........!!! I'm back, after disappearing for a looooong time. :p

After 2 years of moaning and groaning, I've finally completed my A-levels. Others did it in 11 months, some did it in 18 months, but I did it in 24 months. That's such a lengthy period to be studying something which could be completed in a much shorted period.

When I registered myself over here, I was not informed of the changes to the program, and I wrongly assumed that it would be a 18 months program.

2 weeks before I came in, I got a shock when I heard that only the July 08 intake of A-levels would be changed to a 24 months program.

But I carried on with my decision.

I came in.

And I kept moaning about how I was tricked. About how I was wasting my time here. About how others could enter a degree program a year earlier than me. About how I have to spend more money to complete the course here.

2 years seemed to be a very long way to go when I first came in, but now that I've completed my course, 2 years doesn't seem long at all! In fact, it feels like it was just yesterday when I entered this program.

How I miss my friends... How I miss the time I spent with them - the fun, the laughter, the gossips and the complaining we did together.... :DD

2 years ago, had I not entered the July 08 intake of A-levels, I probably would not have enjoyed my student life as much, and would not have such a relaxing time too.

2 years ago, had I not entered the July 08 intake of A-levels, I probably would not have taken an extra subject.

2 years ago, had I not entered the July 08 intake of A-levels, I probably would not be mature enough to be a medical student. I would probably be one of those who only focuses on academics and do not have a life. Though I still lack a lot in terms of life experiences, I must say that I have at least gained a little perspective on life. And I'll try to gain more experiences before I graduate.

2 years ago, had I not entered the July 08 intake of A-levels, I probably would not meet those UK bound JPA students. And my dream of going to UK would have remained just a dream until now. Though I have absolutely no idea if I can study in UK, at least I had the chance to apply, and I had the chance to go there too.

2 years ago, I wondered if I had made the right decision.

2 years later, I can say that at the very least, my decision made me into the person I am now. And I'm happy about it. =)

Bye A-levels.... I will miss you and all that I experienced during that time will remain as beautiful memories throughout my life...