I can't specifically remember the last time I had a big, round birthday cake. With the exact number of candles on it to signify my age lit in a dark room, and a birthday song to go with it. And then, comes the part where I would make a wish, and blow out all the candles in one go. The only proof that those times ever happened was the collection of photographs of my younger days that I keep high up in my cupboard at home. When I look through the photos, even I can't remember having gone through that. Or maybe just a very vague sense of those times.
But today, I had a birthday cake. A chocolate-shreds-coated-blackforest cake!! Oh my..are you like getting oh-so-jealous now? XD
Thanks to my lovely friends who actually thought of surprising me on my birthday (as they always had done so for my past 2 birthdays as well), I actually had a birthday cake lit with candles. They even sang me a birthday song -albeit softly so as not to disturb the other customers of that shop.
According to them, the wish you make on your 21st birthday is especially 'ling'. Which basically means there's a very very very high probability of it coming true. Yay!!! They even requested that I make a wish for them as well. =) Well, of course I did. They're my friends, and they've been through so much together with me. Hmmm...actually I think my wish actually encompasses everyone? I hope so. =P
Don't be sorry cause you think it wasn't a surprise enough.
Don't be sorry that you weren't able to fully get into the mood.
Don't be sorry that you couldn't accompany me the day before.
Don't be sorry that you weren't able to celebrate it that night itself when the clock striked 12.
Why be sorry for all those small little stuff when you guys have given me so much more?
You have given me friends that I know I can be myself with.
Friends who will never judge me. Who can joke and laugh with me.
Friends who will accept me for the crazy person that I am.
Friends who will be with me throughout.
You have brought joy and laughter into my life ever since I met you.
How else could I have survived the past two and a half years??
The things we did, the gossips we raged about.
I would never be who I am now, had I not known every single one of you.
Rest assured that all of you, every single one of you, whether or not you know it~
Have become integral parts of my life.
My life will never be the same again.
Because I met all of you.
None of you is more important, or slightly less important in my heart.
Every one, and I do mean what I say~
Is important to me.
How can my life be complete without any of you?!
Thank you, my friends.
*P.S. Thanks Sue Zian, Helen and Xiao Yun for celebrating my birthday with me. Thanks for even thinking of trying to surprise me. Thanks Sue Zian for taking the trouble to walk sooooo far just to get me that cake.
Thanks Shu Jin and Sing Chee for the birthday wish!!
And thanks everyone for this birthday celebration, and also for all those before this.
Lotsa Love
<3>
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Missing You
It's the first week of classes here.
Though we went through Orientation Week, and also the Transition Camp at Genting together, I still don't feel close with you. Maybe I know you a tiny bit more compared to when we first met at the Transition Camp, when we were thrown into the same group.
We're going to be in the same PBL group together for the first semester, at the very least. And then, our grouping will be shuffled again. But....somehow.. I just don't feel this connection with you guys. I even have an urge to run away from all this; right now, right here. But I know I can't. It was my decision to come here. And I feel that I made the right choice. But now, I'm actually wondering if I will survive 5 years of this. Can I? Will I?
Maybe it's because I had a taste of the medical programme before this.
Maybe it's because I had forged pretty good relationships with my previous PBL group members.
Maybe it's because I went through a lot more together with my group members from my previous PBL group.
Maybe it's because you already have your own cliques.
Maybe it's because I'm still in denial, wishing to have my friends back instead of starting over again.
But one thing I know for sure.
I can't fit in with you guys.
Most of the time, I feel left out.
Most of the time, I feel as if I'm the odd one out.
Most of the time, I'm alone.
Temporary or Permanent??
I don't know. But I don't see any hope for anything changing in the near future...
With time, maybe some things will change.
I wouldn't know.
But I certainly hope so.
Maybe, one day, I will fit in...
But right now, I am seriously missing all my lovely friends~ My A-levels super friends and my lovely friends from med school.
I MISS YOU GUYS!!!! <3>
Though we went through Orientation Week, and also the Transition Camp at Genting together, I still don't feel close with you. Maybe I know you a tiny bit more compared to when we first met at the Transition Camp, when we were thrown into the same group.
We're going to be in the same PBL group together for the first semester, at the very least. And then, our grouping will be shuffled again. But....somehow.. I just don't feel this connection with you guys. I even have an urge to run away from all this; right now, right here. But I know I can't. It was my decision to come here. And I feel that I made the right choice. But now, I'm actually wondering if I will survive 5 years of this. Can I? Will I?
Maybe it's because I had a taste of the medical programme before this.
Maybe it's because I had forged pretty good relationships with my previous PBL group members.
Maybe it's because I went through a lot more together with my group members from my previous PBL group.
Maybe it's because you already have your own cliques.
Maybe it's because I'm still in denial, wishing to have my friends back instead of starting over again.
But one thing I know for sure.
I can't fit in with you guys.
Most of the time, I feel left out.
Most of the time, I feel as if I'm the odd one out.
Most of the time, I'm alone.
Temporary or Permanent??
I don't know. But I don't see any hope for anything changing in the near future...
With time, maybe some things will change.
I wouldn't know.
But I certainly hope so.
Maybe, one day, I will fit in...
But right now, I am seriously missing all my lovely friends~ My A-levels super friends and my lovely friends from med school.
I MISS YOU GUYS!!!! <3>
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Saying Goodbye
Time flies.
Imagine that just 8 months ago, I entered the medical program with thoughts of leaving as soon as I could. I didn't feel comfortable around my classmates; they were like complete strangers to me. And I couldn't seem to be as close to them as I was with my A-levels friends.
September came and went.
No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't leave.
And I was depressed to be stuck there.
But by then, I was on quite friendly terms with my classmates. Not as close as my other friends, but not strangers anymore.
Then came December~
I got the offer letter. And I knew for sure that I would be able to leave.
But...somehow, I felt a little reluctant.
On my side at least, I felt happy to be around my classmates. They have become my friends. Maybe not very very very close, but close enough that I would feel sad leaving them. I had so much fun during my time spent with them.
The outings~
The gatherings~
The meals together~
The supposedly studying together~
The events we carried out together~
And most importantly... THE GOSSIPS!! XD
I postponed leaving for as long as I could.
I still went for classes.
I still went for events.
I still gossiped to my heart's content =P
But the time came eventually.
The Friday before I left, my classmates had a farewell party for me.
Steamboat and a present I didn't expect~
More importantly were the people who turned up. I didn't expect that many people to come. Even those that usually didn't join in for gatherings or outings, or those who always go back on Fridays, stayed back for a while just to come. I'm really amazed. And for all that they have done, I am sincerely grateful and appreciative.
Thank you everyone!
Though I wish I could see everyone sometime again in the near future, and that I would be able to keep in touch with them still, I don't really think it will be as ideal as I make it out to be.
Our timetables may not be the same, our holidays not at the same time, we have nothing in common anymore, or it may be just that you don't feel like keeping in contact anymore. Who knows? And who can stop you from making that decision?
Goodbyes really are the hardest.
Especially when you are leaving a group of people you can call your friends, to a new place where everyone is a total stranger.
Imagine that just 8 months ago, I entered the medical program with thoughts of leaving as soon as I could. I didn't feel comfortable around my classmates; they were like complete strangers to me. And I couldn't seem to be as close to them as I was with my A-levels friends.
September came and went.
No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't leave.
And I was depressed to be stuck there.
But by then, I was on quite friendly terms with my classmates. Not as close as my other friends, but not strangers anymore.
Then came December~
I got the offer letter. And I knew for sure that I would be able to leave.
But...somehow, I felt a little reluctant.
On my side at least, I felt happy to be around my classmates. They have become my friends. Maybe not very very very close, but close enough that I would feel sad leaving them. I had so much fun during my time spent with them.
The outings~
The gatherings~
The meals together~
The supposedly studying together~
The events we carried out together~
And most importantly... THE GOSSIPS!! XD
I postponed leaving for as long as I could.
I still went for classes.
I still went for events.
I still gossiped to my heart's content =P
But the time came eventually.
The Friday before I left, my classmates had a farewell party for me.
Steamboat and a present I didn't expect~
More importantly were the people who turned up. I didn't expect that many people to come. Even those that usually didn't join in for gatherings or outings, or those who always go back on Fridays, stayed back for a while just to come. I'm really amazed. And for all that they have done, I am sincerely grateful and appreciative.
Thank you everyone!
Though I wish I could see everyone sometime again in the near future, and that I would be able to keep in touch with them still, I don't really think it will be as ideal as I make it out to be.
Our timetables may not be the same, our holidays not at the same time, we have nothing in common anymore, or it may be just that you don't feel like keeping in contact anymore. Who knows? And who can stop you from making that decision?
Goodbyes really are the hardest.
Especially when you are leaving a group of people you can call your friends, to a new place where everyone is a total stranger.
Goodbye, everyone. I will surely and truly miss you guys!
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