Flying Without Wings

'Flying without wings'. That was the theme of the charity event held by the MuMeds.

This fund raising event was also held to raise the awareness of the public about disabled people. Though disabled, they are able to achieve a lot of things too, and should not be discriminated againts and unfairly dismissed.

The event T-shirt goes something like this:

'A dragonfly can fly with 4 wings.

An aeroplane can fly with 2 wings.

We can fly without wings.'

Nice right? I know. =)

Anyway, back to the event.

The event was held from 10am to 5pm. We, the first year meddies actually came up with a sketch for the event too. And guess what, I actually skipped my first lecture of the year to watch the sketch. I don't even know if I should feel guilty or proud @.@ It was a great sketch, (not bad considering that we only came up with the script in such a short time), and it ended with the cast using sign language to convey the message that disabled people are people too. A great take home message if you ask me. =)

The video can be viewed here. Enjoy~!

Needless to say, I got myself one of the meaningful event T-shirts, and also 2 badges. Hehe.. And together with J, actually got myself my first hennas ever. It was super cool~ XD

Grab a look at my hennas, one on my neck, and another on my hand. Ah.. these were taken immediately when it was done, before it could get twisted and as J puts it, 'retarded'.

Cool eh? I'm super happy with it. =D

I think everyone was super high today because of the event. Only a handful of the 138 of us turned up for Dr S's lecture. Poor Dr S. Haha..

Anyway, I think most of us weren't in the mood for PBL at all, and if not for PBL, I'm guessing that most of us would just skip whatever lecture there is just to be at the event. Lolss..

With the great convincing job JW and the few others manning the games booth did, J and I decided to give a try at the Ice Box. We were supposed to put our hands into a dustbin full of ice water and grab out 8 out of only 12 red marbles among a few tens of other coloured marbles. All within 20 seconds. And we could only use one hand, and no changing of hands were allowed. So freaking scary. To add to that, some kind senior decided to add in more ice before we started the game. =.=

I had my turn after J, and after giving myself some mental preparation on what to expect, I dipped my hand into the ice cold water. I didn't bother trying to put the marbles nicely on the table, and instead just threw everything around, until the senior had to tell me to be more gentle, as I think they got sprayed with water. =P Conclusion was, I actually managed to get out 8 red marbles, before the 20 seconds was even up. Just my lucky day I guess. I got a KitKat and a packet of Ribena, and my hand wasn't even really really numb. Fun indeed~!

The most popular booth would be the dunking booth. Where someone would sit on a platform above a tub of yes, you guessed it, ice water. Participants would then buy shots at the lever and try to hit it, and hit it hard so that the person would go 'Splash' into the water. Many people were lining up to get their turn at a shot at whoever was sitting up there, and many more surrounded to watch the splashing. I did my share of watching and staring after PBL. *Grins*

One thing I can comment about the dunking is that it is a super fast way of fund-raising. Rm3 for 3 shots, and the only cost was for the rental of the equipment. At the end of it, they were just dragging everyone up there, and dunking them, with much pleasure. Some of them were dunked only after multiple shots, whereas some, with the first shot itself. One thing they all had in common was this - the epic moment when they realised they were falling into the tub just before they hit the water. Their expression, I tell you, it was worth watching them being dunked. Epic man~

Well... I guess that just about concludes my account of the event. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, though I wasn't even involved in it. I guess next year when it's us year one's turn to man the event, it'll be even more fun. Till then~

And for now, do remember that 'We can FLY without wings' ~!!! =)

I Regret

I regret ever wanting to dive.

I regret ever signing up for diving as my selective.

One wrong move, and I think I might just be screwed for a very long loooong time.

Sad indeed. Yeah, I know.

Well, lemme just start from the very beginning.

I wanted to do diving as my selective. I signed up for diving. I got diving as my selective, along with another 5 others.

All those joining the diving selective received no news whatsoever about the diving course, we did not know when we were going, for how long, and what exactly we would be doing there. We did not even know when we were supposed to pay for the whole course, or when we start.

On the day where all other selectives were starting, we received a text message from admin telling us where to meet for the briefing (which I wasn't aware of until much later). I did not know about that, and I approached one of my coursemate who was also doing diving. He then asked if I was really keen on going diving, as it was so near to the exam. He also mentioned that he and the rest were thinking of dropping the selective, and asked if I would like to do so too. I asked him where the rest were. I was told that it was only the 4 of us left. The other 2 dropped out earlier. I was like, WTH????

And so, I agreed. And we went to see Ms C, who was in charge of the selectives. She told us that we were not able to drop at this last minute, and said that we would have to talk to Mr P, who was in charge. Only with his permission, would we be able to drop diving and change to another selective.

We were unable to find Mr P in his office, and so we met Dr C, who was in charge, together with Mr P. She didn't seem too pleased or friendly towards us, and said that Mr P has put in a lot of effort in preparing this event for us. Apparently, he even went to Tioman to check out the place and make bookings. It wasn't going to be so easy as to just cancel the trip. She also mentioned that the diving instructor would be meeting us later together with Mr P for the briefing.

We were standing outside the doorway leading to the offices, when Dr Sv and Dr J passed by. After talking to Dr J, we found out that Dr Sh was also in charge of the selectives. Of course we went and see her. And she being the nice person that she was, understood our concerns 101%. When we requested her to talk to Mr P for us, she agreed immediately. Such a nice person, always ready to help the students. She told us not to feel bad about our decision, as she understood the situation. She mentioned that there was a minimum requirement of 5 participants for each selective to be carried out, and that when they suggested Mr P to drop it, he insisted on carrying it on just because he said we wanted to dive. I thought nothing much about it, until very much later.

Anyway, Dr Sh could not contact Mr P, and only managed to send him a text message and an email, saying that we would like to drop out of the selectivc. Anxiously, we waited for him at the staff lounge. He arrived half an hour late, and as expected, he brought along the diving instructor.

His first words were, 'So, you all want to drop diving?', and then he proceeded to talk at length about how he thought 4 of us were going to drop, so at least there was still one person who wanted to dive etc etc etc... I won't bore you with all those details, well, I won't even bore myself going through it all again.

Main point: he looked angry, and sounded damn angry.

He was going on about how we should be prepared 2 weeks before the exam, that exam is no excuse not to go for it. When we kinda mentioned that we were coming back on the 4th and exam was on the 5th, he retorted that No, no.. we're coming back on the 31st. Then continued on preaching about how he took the trouble to do this, do that, book this, book that. Limo is RM700 per trip, and he didn't trust buses, especially since it was the festive season, the place we would be staying, he even said that the instructor had to take time off work, and that would mean a loss of income of 18k, or 9k or something like that, which didn't manage to get into my brain.

With all that said, he gave us the green light to drop diving as a selective. But it was not as easy as that. Oh no... We had to pay compensation, of course. He was cursing that his mistake was not collecting a deposit from us. Okay, we can quit. But we would have to come up with RM1000 the following day - for compensation.

Thinking that, why the bloody hell would I pay for nothing, I asked A if she was ok with diving, She agreed, and the other 2 guys reluctantly agreed too. I said that we would go, but then Mr P said, 'OH no no.. I'm not forcing you guys to go. Now since you already cancelled, how would you want to go again? If you want to go, ask Mr J if he would teach you.'

The money-minded fella obviously agreed to teach us, but not without some acting. Needless to say, Mr P's mood improved dramatically after we said we were going. He even double and tripled confirmed we were indeed going before he left us with Mr J. After which, he questioned us. 'Did you guys think I was angry just now?' To which we just stared at each other. Knowing very well that we wouldn't be giving him an answer, he continued on, 'I wasn't angry you know, I was just disappointed. Oh, don't you guys worry, this won't affect anything at all. It's not as if I would treat you or mark your exam papers differently. I'm just disappointed in you all, that's all.'

After everything was over, we sat down and had a chat. And we came to a mutual agreement on a few things:

1. He was blardy blackmailing us with the RM1000 deposit.
2. He threatened us with our exam papers.
3. He mind-raped us.
4. He was lying through his nose when he said everything was booked. He actually told us we could take a flight there if we wanted to be faster, and he only booked our accommodation when we asked him about it.
5. Mr J wanted money, that's all.

Anyway, I thought we have decided on going for the course. But then... J called, and he said it was cancelled.

Yeah, he went and saw Mr P after we all went back, and told him that we would like to go diving but maybe at the end of the semester, not before our exam, etc etc etc..

And, you guessed it~! He said he was mind-raped. Again. Alone. Well...what else could you expect from a psychologist? And a psycho psychologist at that. Mr P tried to play the good guy game, while trying to twist J's mind. Poor thing. Fortunately for J, he said that he knew some mind techniques as well. So it's not too bad. But it must have been real scary, to be in the same room, and looking a mind twister in the eye. Even more scary is that this is your lecturer, who you would be dealing with for another 1.5 years.

My conclusion: Money can do things to people that you would otherwise have never expected. For money, and money alone, there is nothing too low. Even the most respectable person (or whom you may think is respectable) could lose all dignity in your eyes for it.

Though Mr P said that all's settled and it's all in the past, and that it's his fault, not ours, I find it hard to believe that he would let go so easily.

For the next 1.5 years that we would be under him, I can only pray and hope for the best.

God bless us all.

Letting Go

I've never known it before. But right now, I can tell you that saying goodbye and letting go are indeed the hardest. Especially when you know that you are not going to see that person again; at least not in this lifetime.

Maybe it's just me, but I realise that I seem to take things for granted too much. I have never thought about the 'what if's', and what the future might hold. Maybe I always believed that things would stay the same forever and ever. How naive of me.

I took the fact that I had all 4 of my grandparents around for granted.

1 of them, I live with, and whom I see everyday of my life.

Another lives nearby, and I see very frequently.

The other 2 stays further away, and I only get to see them once a year.

I guess I just never thought about what would happen if they left. Though I know that everyone passes on, I never really thought about what it would mean to me.

But when I left home for studies, I seldom went home. And so, I saw less and less of my paternal grandparents.

I may have frequented my maternal grandparents home more times than I had previously, but was that really enough??

And now, my paternal grandma and my maternal grandpa has left this earthly world.

I was not there when they passed on.

Always, I wonder.

Would it have made a difference if I was with them when they left?

Then they would at least have someone accompanying them.

Was I a filial and good grandchild?

Did I meet their expectations?

Regret after regret come bombarding.

What if I was a better person?

What if I visited more often?

What if I was there?

And that makes saying goodbye all the harder.

But when they are lowered into their final resting places, you know that there is just no other way. No other way than to bid the final goodbye, and let them go. To let them be free, and for them to move on to the Gates of Heaven, to meet with God and the angels awaiting them. A place where they would feel no hunger, experience no sorrow. A place where they would finally be free; free from suffering and pain.

With that thought, I can finally let go now.

Goodbye, Grandma.

Goodbye, Grandpa.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy your life now. You definitely deserve it.

New new new

New sem. New changes. New groups. New people.

BIG headache.

I remember when I first entered med school. The thought that I was going to be stuck here for 5 whole years scared the shit out of me, and my reaction was to just run. From the course, from the university, from the people there.

But then, along the way, I got used to everything. I settled down just great. When I got it into my head that this is where I'm going to be for the next 5 years, and that these bunch of people who were my groupmates were going to be there with me all through that 5 years, I guess I just accepted that fact.

And see where it got me.

I am happy and contented with my group. Hmmm.. maybe not so when it comes to 2 seconds (uh, yeah, that's what we call him. The super kiasu and selfish guy.), but I can honestly say that I love (the rest of) my groupmates. Every one of them.

We practically did everything together. We were in the same group for PBLs, tutorials, clinical skills, HEP, Law, clinical site visits, lectures.......... We even had lunch together, went for movies together etc. Of course, not everyone can make it each time, but we did spend most of our time together. Until the point that the rest of our course mates were practically strangers to us. Ah, in case I forget later, 2 seconds has never joined us unless necessary, and has never shown any inclincation to do so.

Now, with the start of a new sem, though we were still in the same group for clinical skills, we were split up for PBLs and other stuff. Somehow, most of us are unable to get used to our new groups. We all seem to find fault with our new groupmates. We feel like the outcasts in our new groups, with everyone being super duper smart and hardworking, not to mention those kiasu ones. We were reduced to just sitting there and keeping our mouths shut, as there isn't even any need of our presence in the group, what more our opinions.

We were added into new PBL groups. But most of us who complained about our new groups did not feel like joining the new groups, and were invisible there. Instead, the activity in our previous group carried on as usual. Lots of crap, fun and jokes.

Some of us hope that this sem would just pass quickly, in the hope that we would not need to suffer with our new groups as much. But I wouldn't know. Can we ever get back our old grouping?

That said, no matter which group we end up in eventually, we shall always have something in common: we were in Group E when we first entered med school, and we shall always remain as members of this group.

The bond we formed between us is something worth treasuring. It is not everyday that one gets friends and colleagues that can get you though thick and thin. A senior told us at the transition camp last time: you will always be closest to your first group. How true it is. A friend also commented the same. In her own words: "It was great being with each and every one of u people..gonna miss yal heaps.. like they said during transition, ur always closest at heart twith ur first group.. coz these were the people who healped u get thru the initial stumbles in MBBS..thank u guys. and good luck with ur new groups.. enjoy sem2 as much as we did in sem1.. lotsa love.. =)"

Hopefully, the bond we now share shall continue growing stronger. And that we also manage to form similar bonds with our new groupmates. Maybe we will never be as close to our new groupmates as we were with our first groupmates. But at least we will be strangers no more.

Let's hope for the best, eh?

Scandalicious!!!

It's now 2 months into the MBBS program here, and I can say that I'm having lotsa fun! My groupmates especially, though I didn't really know them that well when we first stated out, have proved themselves to be really fun people. (Ermm..at least most of them la..Haha..)


In the very beginning, we never went for lunch together. Then someone (a girl, I should clarify) suggested that we go for a group lunch. And so, we went for a group lunch. For the next few times that we went for lunch together as a group (or more specifically half a group), it's because she asked our groupmembers who were still hanging around after classes. When she did not ask, it seemed that the guys would magically disappear come lunch time. In their very gentlemanliness, they would no doubt forget about their groupmates. Sad case indeed.


Then...We - the girls, tried to ask everyone out for a movie. We set it on a Friday, as was mutually agreed. Come Friday, most people bailed. Then we postponed it to the following Friday. Come that Friday, again, history repeated itself.
Guy 1 said: Oh, my phone is spoiled, I need to go buy another phone.
Guy 2 said: I'm feeling very tired. I don't think I'll go, I want to go home and rest. Guy 3 said: I'm not free.
Guy 4 said: I'm going home today. (He stays in nearby Seremban by the way)
Guy 5 said: Ermm..That day I went for a movie already. What movie are you all watching ah? (We said: 127 hours or Big Mamma) Oh, that day I watched Battle of LA. (We were like, Oh, Ok..But we're not even watching the movie you watched! @.@)
Guy 6 said: Ermm..All girls going ah? No guys? Then I don't want to go la. Shy.
OH WOW. So in the end, we girls went together. 4 of us ended up watching 127 hours. And then, after we bought the ticket, Guy 7 called and said: Eh, you all watching movie ah? (Yeah..) What movie? (127 hours..) I also want to watch! (We bought ticket already la..you come now lo, but sit separate dy lo..) Yerrr..why didn't ask me one. (Eh, we got ah, you ownself didn't want to come le..)
OH GOODNESS!!!! Super Sweat =.="

But as a group, we get along really well. Haha.. We've managed to come up with the lamest theories, the juiciest scandals...the list just goes on and on and on~

During our PBL about breast cancer, our discussion came up with the weirdest facts. When our lecturer said that prophylactic removal of the breast is a type of preventive measure against breast cancer, we thought he was joking. After we established the fact that he was actually serious, he asked about the advantages of this type of preventive measure. Aside from having a reduced risk of breast cancer, PN said that this would also reduce rape and molest cases. Her theory being: Men are attracted to female breasts, so they feel the urge to have sex when they see breasts. Without breast, there would be less rape and molest cases. SH said that, breasts are very important to females. The shape and size and everything. JF, the supposedly holiest person in the group said that, no la, without breasts how can. At night when off the lights still the same one..and he touched his chest while saying that. @.@ I think my lecturer must be going crazy at that time.

During the next PBL, we discussed about cervical cancer. We had a new lecturer sitting in and observing how we carried out our PBLs. Throughout our whole PBL session, she was laughing her head off. I guess she must be thinking, 'You're the person in charge of all PBLs, and yet you got such a PBL group. Poor you.' Haha.. When our lecturer asked why there's abnormal vaginal bleeding during sexual intercourse for cervical cancer, SH said very confidently that, because there's a tumour, so during intercourse, there's friction, so there's bleeding. My lecturer straight away covered his face with his palms, and rubbed his forehead, telling SH that its not correct. SH continues on, saying, correct wat..there's friction, so there's bleeding, and even proceeded to show how it occurred. My lecturer said, don't even think about it. Forget it, it's not correct. Hahahaha.. Imagine the pain my lecturer was in, and to think there was a new lecturer around at that time. XD

For the following PBL session, we were discussing about burns. And everything we prepared was not what we were discussing. Our lecturer was on the verge of giving up on us. He ended up asking us if we had learned this before. When we said we only learned that in school, and not in uni, he said,: That's fine. I only want school level knowledge." Then, when he asked us any questions later, he clarified himself saying that what he wanted was school level knowledge, or not even school level knowledge and that he only wanted common sense knowledge. He kept saying,: What did I do to deserve this group of students?" and also:"I must have got up on the wrong side of bed this morning." because everytime he asked something, we would stare at him blankly and come up with answers that wasn't what he wanted. We counted by saying:"We got up on the wrong side of bed today too. You're not the only one who got up on the wrong side of bed today."

Well...That's my group for you.

Facts about my group so far:
1. Many many girls have the hots for ZQ. According to AL, the girls in her unit constantly talk about him. He can sit at a table full of girls for lunch. Yet, he says he don't know them.
2. AL hates ZQ (according to her, he bullied her, by saying HI on Fb). She says he's a flasher.
3. PN told KM that JF is a flasher. No idea how that topic came up. They were supposed to be discussing for a debate at that time.
4. JW likes LY. LY likes AH. AH likes JW. A perfect triangle. Amazing.
5. KM likes Abu.
6. JL has a scandal with the Sandwich Guy.

How interesting right? There's more!

Now, there're new scandals~
1. JF is loyal to AL. But then has a scandal with KM. So, AL broke up with JF, and then JF was single. Noone wanted JF, then KM said that she would take him. Guess what JF said? He said,"Har, you ah?" KM was so pissed off. JF already desperate, no one wants him, Yet when KM offered to take him, he gave such a reaction. LOLz.
2. NK likes LM. But LM already has a gf in Sri Lanka. So NK is sad that she can't be with LM. She says,:"Why ah? Why you have gf already?"
3. ZQ says he's bi. He now has his eye on PN's bf. She scolded him, saying,:"Hey! That's my boy, OK?" Oh ya, he's also the attraction of all g--- around, though we really have no idea why. G--- just come up to him and touch him all over.
4. JW came up with ways to be rejected by a girl. First, walk up to her and spank her butt. Second, on the first date, say:"Hey, let's watch p--- together!"

Hmmm.. I think thats all so far...

Oh, NK likes to molest people. She just goes up to anyone and suddely poke them, spank their butts and even bite them. =S Really can't understand her. And JW issued a disclaimer: Not all Sarawak people are like that. He didn't even want to be associated with her at all. Haha! NK's also really really dramatic. We all think she's in the wrong course. She should have just entered the entertainment industry. Especially acting in those old, black and white movies. But then again, almost everyone in my group are dramatic. Directors, screen writers, actors, actresses, you name it, we have it. Anything to do with the film indistry, my group has. Lol.

And me... I'm just sitting back and enjoying all the drama around me. =D

Happy Birthday!

I can't specifically remember the last time I had a big, round birthday cake. With the exact number of candles on it to signify my age lit in a dark room, and a birthday song to go with it. And then, comes the part where I would make a wish, and blow out all the candles in one go. The only proof that those times ever happened was the collection of photographs of my younger days that I keep high up in my cupboard at home. When I look through the photos, even I can't remember having gone through that. Or maybe just a very vague sense of those times.

But today, I had a birthday cake. A chocolate-shreds-coated-blackforest cake!! Oh my..are you like getting oh-so-jealous now? XD

Thanks to my lovely friends who actually thought of surprising me on my birthday (as they always had done so for my past 2 birthdays as well), I actually had a birthday cake lit with candles. They even sang me a birthday song -albeit softly so as not to disturb the other customers of that shop.

According to them, the wish you make on your 21st birthday is especially 'ling'. Which basically means there's a very very very high probability of it coming true. Yay!!! They even requested that I make a wish for them as well. =) Well, of course I did. They're my friends, and they've been through so much together with me. Hmmm...actually I think my wish actually encompasses everyone? I hope so. =P

Don't be sorry cause you think it wasn't a surprise enough.
Don't be sorry that you weren't able to fully get into the mood.
Don't be sorry that you couldn't accompany me the day before.
Don't be sorry that you weren't able to celebrate it that night itself when the clock striked 12.

Why be sorry for all those small little stuff when you guys have given me so much more?

You have given me friends that I know I can be myself with.
Friends who will never judge me. Who can joke and laugh with me.
Friends who will accept me for the crazy person that I am.
Friends who will be with me throughout.

You have brought joy and laughter into my life ever since I met you.
How else could I have survived the past two and a half years??
The things we did, the gossips we raged about.
I would never be who I am now, had I not known every single one of you.

Rest assured that all of you, every single one of you, whether or not you know it~
Have become integral parts of my life.
My life will never be the same again.
Because I met all of you.
None of you is more important, or slightly less important in my heart.
Every one, and I do mean what I say~
Is important to me.
How can my life be complete without any of you?!



Thank you, my friends.

















*P.S. Thanks Sue Zian, Helen and Xiao Yun for celebrating my birthday with me. Thanks for even thinking of trying to surprise me. Thanks Sue Zian for taking the trouble to walk sooooo far just to get me that cake.

Thanks Shu Jin and Sing Chee for the birthday wish!!

And thanks everyone for this birthday celebration, and also for all those before this.








Lotsa Love

<3>

Missing You

It's the first week of classes here.



Though we went through Orientation Week, and also the Transition Camp at Genting together, I still don't feel close with you. Maybe I know you a tiny bit more compared to when we first met at the Transition Camp, when we were thrown into the same group.



We're going to be in the same PBL group together for the first semester, at the very least. And then, our grouping will be shuffled again. But....somehow.. I just don't feel this connection with you guys. I even have an urge to run away from all this; right now, right here. But I know I can't. It was my decision to come here. And I feel that I made the right choice. But now, I'm actually wondering if I will survive 5 years of this. Can I? Will I?



Maybe it's because I had a taste of the medical programme before this.
Maybe it's because I had forged pretty good relationships with my previous PBL group members.
Maybe it's because I went through a lot more together with my group members from my previous PBL group.
Maybe it's because you already have your own cliques.
Maybe it's because I'm still in denial, wishing to have my friends back instead of starting over again.


But one thing I know for sure.


I can't fit in with you guys.


Most of the time, I feel left out.
Most of the time, I feel as if I'm the odd one out.
Most of the time, I'm alone.


Temporary or Permanent??


I don't know. But I don't see any hope for anything changing in the near future...


With time, maybe some things will change.


I wouldn't know.


But I certainly hope so.

Maybe, one day, I will fit in...

But right now, I am seriously missing all my lovely friends~ My A-levels super friends and my lovely friends from med school.



I MISS YOU GUYS!!!! <3>