Maybe it's just me, but I realise that I seem to take things for granted too much. I have never thought about the 'what if's', and what the future might hold. Maybe I always believed that things would stay the same forever and ever. How naive of me.
I took the fact that I had all 4 of my grandparents around for granted.
1 of them, I live with, and whom I see everyday of my life.
Another lives nearby, and I see very frequently.
The other 2 stays further away, and I only get to see them once a year.
I guess I just never thought about what would happen if they left. Though I know that everyone passes on, I never really thought about what it would mean to me.
But when I left home for studies, I seldom went home. And so, I saw less and less of my paternal grandparents.
I may have frequented my maternal grandparents home more times than I had previously, but was that really enough??
And now, my paternal grandma and my maternal grandpa has left this earthly world.
I was not there when they passed on.
Always, I wonder.
Would it have made a difference if I was with them when they left?
Then they would at least have someone accompanying them.
Was I a filial and good grandchild?
Did I meet their expectations?
Regret after regret come bombarding.
What if I was a better person?
What if I visited more often?
What if I was there?
And that makes saying goodbye all the harder.
But when they are lowered into their final resting places, you know that there is just no other way. No other way than to bid the final goodbye, and let them go. To let them be free, and for them to move on to the Gates of Heaven, to meet with God and the angels awaiting them. A place where they would feel no hunger, experience no sorrow. A place where they would finally be free; free from suffering and pain.
With that thought, I can finally let go now.
Goodbye, Grandma.
Goodbye, Grandpa.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy your life now. You definitely deserve it.
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