I Regret

I regret ever wanting to dive.

I regret ever signing up for diving as my selective.

One wrong move, and I think I might just be screwed for a very long loooong time.

Sad indeed. Yeah, I know.

Well, lemme just start from the very beginning.

I wanted to do diving as my selective. I signed up for diving. I got diving as my selective, along with another 5 others.

All those joining the diving selective received no news whatsoever about the diving course, we did not know when we were going, for how long, and what exactly we would be doing there. We did not even know when we were supposed to pay for the whole course, or when we start.

On the day where all other selectives were starting, we received a text message from admin telling us where to meet for the briefing (which I wasn't aware of until much later). I did not know about that, and I approached one of my coursemate who was also doing diving. He then asked if I was really keen on going diving, as it was so near to the exam. He also mentioned that he and the rest were thinking of dropping the selective, and asked if I would like to do so too. I asked him where the rest were. I was told that it was only the 4 of us left. The other 2 dropped out earlier. I was like, WTH????

And so, I agreed. And we went to see Ms C, who was in charge of the selectives. She told us that we were not able to drop at this last minute, and said that we would have to talk to Mr P, who was in charge. Only with his permission, would we be able to drop diving and change to another selective.

We were unable to find Mr P in his office, and so we met Dr C, who was in charge, together with Mr P. She didn't seem too pleased or friendly towards us, and said that Mr P has put in a lot of effort in preparing this event for us. Apparently, he even went to Tioman to check out the place and make bookings. It wasn't going to be so easy as to just cancel the trip. She also mentioned that the diving instructor would be meeting us later together with Mr P for the briefing.

We were standing outside the doorway leading to the offices, when Dr Sv and Dr J passed by. After talking to Dr J, we found out that Dr Sh was also in charge of the selectives. Of course we went and see her. And she being the nice person that she was, understood our concerns 101%. When we requested her to talk to Mr P for us, she agreed immediately. Such a nice person, always ready to help the students. She told us not to feel bad about our decision, as she understood the situation. She mentioned that there was a minimum requirement of 5 participants for each selective to be carried out, and that when they suggested Mr P to drop it, he insisted on carrying it on just because he said we wanted to dive. I thought nothing much about it, until very much later.

Anyway, Dr Sh could not contact Mr P, and only managed to send him a text message and an email, saying that we would like to drop out of the selectivc. Anxiously, we waited for him at the staff lounge. He arrived half an hour late, and as expected, he brought along the diving instructor.

His first words were, 'So, you all want to drop diving?', and then he proceeded to talk at length about how he thought 4 of us were going to drop, so at least there was still one person who wanted to dive etc etc etc... I won't bore you with all those details, well, I won't even bore myself going through it all again.

Main point: he looked angry, and sounded damn angry.

He was going on about how we should be prepared 2 weeks before the exam, that exam is no excuse not to go for it. When we kinda mentioned that we were coming back on the 4th and exam was on the 5th, he retorted that No, no.. we're coming back on the 31st. Then continued on preaching about how he took the trouble to do this, do that, book this, book that. Limo is RM700 per trip, and he didn't trust buses, especially since it was the festive season, the place we would be staying, he even said that the instructor had to take time off work, and that would mean a loss of income of 18k, or 9k or something like that, which didn't manage to get into my brain.

With all that said, he gave us the green light to drop diving as a selective. But it was not as easy as that. Oh no... We had to pay compensation, of course. He was cursing that his mistake was not collecting a deposit from us. Okay, we can quit. But we would have to come up with RM1000 the following day - for compensation.

Thinking that, why the bloody hell would I pay for nothing, I asked A if she was ok with diving, She agreed, and the other 2 guys reluctantly agreed too. I said that we would go, but then Mr P said, 'OH no no.. I'm not forcing you guys to go. Now since you already cancelled, how would you want to go again? If you want to go, ask Mr J if he would teach you.'

The money-minded fella obviously agreed to teach us, but not without some acting. Needless to say, Mr P's mood improved dramatically after we said we were going. He even double and tripled confirmed we were indeed going before he left us with Mr J. After which, he questioned us. 'Did you guys think I was angry just now?' To which we just stared at each other. Knowing very well that we wouldn't be giving him an answer, he continued on, 'I wasn't angry you know, I was just disappointed. Oh, don't you guys worry, this won't affect anything at all. It's not as if I would treat you or mark your exam papers differently. I'm just disappointed in you all, that's all.'

After everything was over, we sat down and had a chat. And we came to a mutual agreement on a few things:

1. He was blardy blackmailing us with the RM1000 deposit.
2. He threatened us with our exam papers.
3. He mind-raped us.
4. He was lying through his nose when he said everything was booked. He actually told us we could take a flight there if we wanted to be faster, and he only booked our accommodation when we asked him about it.
5. Mr J wanted money, that's all.

Anyway, I thought we have decided on going for the course. But then... J called, and he said it was cancelled.

Yeah, he went and saw Mr P after we all went back, and told him that we would like to go diving but maybe at the end of the semester, not before our exam, etc etc etc..

And, you guessed it~! He said he was mind-raped. Again. Alone. Well...what else could you expect from a psychologist? And a psycho psychologist at that. Mr P tried to play the good guy game, while trying to twist J's mind. Poor thing. Fortunately for J, he said that he knew some mind techniques as well. So it's not too bad. But it must have been real scary, to be in the same room, and looking a mind twister in the eye. Even more scary is that this is your lecturer, who you would be dealing with for another 1.5 years.

My conclusion: Money can do things to people that you would otherwise have never expected. For money, and money alone, there is nothing too low. Even the most respectable person (or whom you may think is respectable) could lose all dignity in your eyes for it.

Though Mr P said that all's settled and it's all in the past, and that it's his fault, not ours, I find it hard to believe that he would let go so easily.

For the next 1.5 years that we would be under him, I can only pray and hope for the best.

God bless us all.